Realization.

One month from tonight will be my last night here in the States.

Typing that sentence does not make this fact any more true or pressing for me presently. I have to admit though that I am a fan of that sentence's pathos, and that I am excited to affirm it here on this blog. Think of it acontextually--Will that night be my last night for good in the States?! Why am I leaving?! Where am I going?!  I think the sentence is pretty darn exciting largely because those questions, although answerable on a superficial level, have profound and heretofore unexplored depths into which I will soon plunge. Typing that sentence certainly helps get me excited about this impending trip of mine, even if it doesn't for you. As the days between myself and Asia continue to melt away, I figure it might be time for me to try to wrap my head around the reality of this trip. Affirming this sentence helps.

Not my wad. I wish!

Apparently buying things helps too, as I discovered by accident today. Let me first say for those of you who do not know that an act of consumption is extremely uncommon for me-- I've been pinching pennies to save up for this trip all school year, effectively upgrading my previously Spartan lifestyle to the level de facto of Asceticism. I say this hyperbolically and with full awareness of my privileges in life, but mean it to a degree nonetheless. It's been tough to sacrifice my dietary and leisure expenses beyond their normally modest (/understatement) levels, but what's been most difficult is the management of two stressful jobs on top of a full-time class load. Every cent I now possess was wrung from my very pores by my labours (sic); they've come to me at great cost in other domains (such as sleep, social life, art, and academics). When I mentioned my Sisyphean struggle earlier in this blog, that was the object of my reference-- my absurd work load. It's paying off, literally, and is enabling me to make some preparatory purchases! And somehow these purchases make me feel closer to my trip.

I've been researching cameras for what feels like an eternity now and finally made a decision on a cheep-but-good digital one today. Perhaps I feel closer to my departure by owning a camera because that is one immediately tangible and material investment I've made in this trip; one that I hope will enrich the experience and enhance my ability to extract and share value. It's like I'm now the owner of something that will enable me to really experience this trip, although we all know that's absurd. Perhaps it's just my socialized love of consumption that's got me all excited. Either way, clicking "Buy" made me realize more acutely that the days before my trip are melting away. I must admit that I like that thought a lot.

Tomorrow is our first orientation meeting as a group! I can't wait to meet my fellow travelers, and hope to blog on the experience soon! Until then, know that I've worked harder for this trip than I ever have before, but it's beginning to pay off-- I'm beginning to see the cliché light at the end of the tunnel, and I think I like it.

More coming soon!